July 10, 2015
My pregnancy was a rough one, and that is an understatement. I had intense sickness through my first trimester, a blood clot through my second, and a uterus measuring 45 weeks in the middle of summer to top it off in the third trimester. Because of the complications I had been up against, my doc decided it was best for me to be induced. My original due date was July 14th and he decided to schedule my induction for one week earlier. The day I was to be induced was a surreal one. All day Bryndon and I would be doing our normal things and stopping to say things like “this is the last time we will be watching a movie without a baby” & “next time we do the dishes, there will be a baby in the house” and when we were leaving to go to the hospital I turned to my husband and said ” next time we come home, we will have Sailor with us”. Even though I had the belly, contractions, cravings, and a kicking baby inside me to prove that this was our reality, it still somehow seemed to be totally unreal. When we got to the hospital on the 8th we knew it was going to be a slow process until we actually delivered the baby. They stripped my membranes and gave me pit and we waited. I had expected to give birth the next day, the 9th, probably in the morning. (let me interject just for a minute and say that you cant really plan on ANYTHING during pregnancy or childbirth, it is not going to go the way you hope or imagine) We went through the night with the nurse checking my cervix and it was opening…..slowly (insert tell tale heart reference). I was hoping that it would start going a little faster so that we could be done by the next afternoon. We waited… cervix check…. and waited… another cervix check… and waited.. another cervix check… nothing really happening. All the way through the 9th we waited and did this routine with no real results. I was contracting at that point for 24 hours with nothing really progressing. I was soooooo discouraged. Around 5 am on the 10th I asked my nurse at what point they will give up on me dialating and possibly take me in for a c-section. I was told that it was my decision and if I wanted to throw in the towel, that would be okay. I lost it. I hated that I had to make that decision with no sleep or food in my system for over 30 hours. I didn’t see how I could possibly be rational or calm about the decision. I was sobbing with exhaustion and hormones. Right then, my monitor started beeping and the nurse heard it and came in the room. The babies heartbeat had dropped dangerously low. She called my doctor and he told her we were going in for an emergency c-section and to get me and prepped. While I was very worried about my baby, I was also so relieved to have that decision taken away from me. I was in the operating room within 15 minutes and I was getting ready to meet our baby. The c-section took a total of 10 min! The second I heard my baby cry was one of the best moments of my entire life. I had waited to meet her and dreamed of hearing that cry for a long time. Its pretty indescribable really. Since I had just been operated on I wasn’t able to hold her for a little while while they stitched me up and while they cleaned her up. She was crying and howling and seemed to be terrified (can you blame her ?) Bryndon went over to try and console her but she was inconsolable. I looked in her direction and said “Sailor, momma is here” and she stopped crying. I kept talking and she was looking straight towards me (I realize she couldn’t see me, but she could hear me) and as long as I kept talking to her she was calm. It was so beautiful. My baby knew my voice the second she heard it.
My labor was 36 hours in total and excruciating, but the second I heard my babies cry that all went away. My giant uterus, my blood clot, my nausea, swelling. I had a healthy baby with beautiful loud lungs and that was all that mattered.